There are two basic things required for mapping change: something to run away from, and something to run towards.
Running Away
Usually people don’t think of running away from something as a good thing. When it comes to change, however, I think it’s absolutely critical. Why? Because whatever it is you want to escape tells you all kinds of information about what you don’t want, where you don’t want to go or end up, and how you don’t want to feel. This is valuable insight! Knowing what you don’t want can be just as important as knowing what it is you do want.
However, it’s not enough all by itself. If you spend your life running away from something, you’re more likely to end up exactly where you don’t want to be. The reason is simple: without a destination, you run around in circles. I’ve experienced countless situations where someone wanted desperately to avoid turning out like their parents, only to find themselves years later exactly like them. It’s a hard reality pill to swallow, but if you can take an honest look at yourself, you may find out just what you didn’t want to see but needed to know.
Running Towards
The other side of the equation involves running towards something. In order to actually get somewhere – and not just anywhere, but somewhere productive and beneficial – you must have a destination. This can sometimes be hard work, simply identifying or describing what your “there” looks like. Maybe you’re not even sure if “there” even exists. In order for change to really work, though, you must find out. Talk to people, do some research, and find out what it is that you want so that you have a clearer idea of what you’re going to be working towards and accomplishing.
Again, just because you’re running towards something doesn’t mean your arrival will be pleasant. Without the other side, running away from something, you may arrive at your destination only to find out that all those negative traits you didn’t want followed you there!