Your Marriage Can Be Better, Again
It's painful to find yourself at a place in your marriage you never thought you'd be. Arguing all the time.
Feeling lonely and isolated in your own home.
Arguing without getting anywhere or resolving anything.
Avoiding conversation because trying to connect is just too hard.
Circling back around to the same issues every time.
Going back and forth in the same patterns and reaching that same dead end.
Marriage Can Be Tough!
Whether you've been married for a year or thirty years, marriage can be hard! How should you know what's normal or what's healthy? It's hard to know if you're going about things the best way, or if you're just making it worse. Your spouse seems to look at the world from a completely foreign perspective, and it's tough to understand why they do what they do!
If you're reading this, you're probably thinking this isn't what you signed up for. This isn't what you imagined when you got married and were excited for the future. You're probably tired, maybe exhausted, of arguing. Tired of feeling alone, even as your spouse lays next to you.
Relationship problems do not have to define your marriage.
There is another way. A skilled therapist can help you see things differently. Then, you can begin to respond differently. And, finally, you are able understand what's been going on.
When you get a better perspective on yourself and your spouse, you will see things more clearly. That makes it easier to change your behavior, which will have an effect on your spouse and the direction of your relationship.
By staying connected through conflict, you can both remain calm. You can both avoid getting defensive or angry. And, you will finally work together toward a common goal.
Learning a Better Way, Together.
Marriage counseling is a lot about learning. Learning about yourself. Discovering new things about your partner. Truly learning about communicating and listening. Finally, learning about connecting and staying connected.
Then, we've got to practice! In order to apply what you learn, it takes time. It also takes practice to change years of habits. Lasting change requires making adjustments and communicating about how well it's going.
All these things need to happen in a safe environment with someone who's not on either spouse's side, in order to give objective feedback and facilitate those conversations. It takes someone who can see and hear what you're saying when your spouse doesn't, and someone who can challenge you or your spouse in more effective ways that you can hear.
You will see changes in your relationship through couples counseling
When you've spent some time learning and practicing new things in marriage counseling, you'll realize you're changing - and so is your spouse. Couples counseling is not about fixing each other but about each of you making changes yourself, so that you can respond differently to your partner.
Once you have new tools and awareness, you can begin to break down those disagreements. And, you'll reduce those conflicts one step at a time. The negativity can lessen, giving you relief and peace in your home. Then, the positive can begin to increase! Finally restoring hope and joy to your relationship.
Marriage is Hard Work, but Worth It
It's true that marital therapy is hard work and makes things feel worse for a time before it gets better. But just like any surgery or physical therapy, once you correct the issue it takes time and practice to retrain yourself to think and react in different ways.
If you do put in the time and effort, though, research shows that couples who work through the difficulties of their marriage and parenthood experience a love and satisfaction that is unparalleled! These couples are the happiest and most satisfied with each other than any other relationship.
You CAN have a happy, healthy marriage!
Happiness in marriage is a possibility. And, it can be yours. At Discover Counseling, we know what it takes to build strong marriages and we can help you discover these possibilities for yourself.
